How to Handle Maycember & Julaugust
Every year, the final weeks of the school year seem to arrive all at once. Calendars fill up with concerts, games, performances, exams, graduations, celebrations, and endless logistics. Parents are juggling schedules, decisions, emotions, and the pressure to finish everything well, while many teens are running on empty.
It's no wonder this season has earned the nickname "Maycember."
As the demands on our time, energy, attention, and even our wallets increase, it's important to remember that our own resources aren't unlimited. The end of the school year, and the transition into summer, isn't just something to survive. It's an opportunity to be intentional about how we care for ourselves and support our families.
Here are a few ideas that I hope will help you navigate both the busy weeks ahead and the transition into summer.
Breathe – I have said it before and I will say it again, breathe. It’s the single most effective thing we can do to slow down and calm our bodies and our minds, to use the oxygen we inhale to relax our systems, and to then begin to think about what comes next. It’s a great skill to model for our kids, a deep breath can help you regulate and can help others co-regulate.
One day at a time – There is just so much to do this time of year. It’s ok to focus on the day ahead, or the week you’re in, and not have expectations that are unreasonable or unattainable. Also, a little organization will go a long way.
You can’t do it all – Let’s be honest, there are likely just too many to-do’s that we can’t do it all, or at least we can’t get it all done perfectly without sacrificing something. So, let go of what you can. It’s ok to have limits, and it’s more than ok to ask for help. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Sleep, nutrition, fresh air, and movement are all necessary for you to be able to show up and be there for others.
Give yourself some grace – The way we talk to ourselves matters, so say aloud (or in your head) that you are doing the best you can, and that it is enough. Focus on what matters most (to you and/or to your kids) and prioritize that.
Transitions are hard. In addition to the busyness of this time of year, often there are a lot of emotions that are mulling around in ourselves and in our kids. While it is easy to rush through all the tasks and events this time of year, we’re missing opportunities for understanding and connection if we don’t pause to acknowledge our thoughts and feelings.
Here are some tips for coping with transitions:
Review and reflect - We are so fast to look ahead, sometimes we forget to think about what we just went through. Here are some questions you can consider. What were the highs and lows? What is there to celebrate about the year? What growth/progress/change happened? What do you/your teen want to improve/change for the future? Do this for yourself, and/or talk about it with your family.
Normalize feelings - Transitions are hard, for everyone. While the future may be exciting in some ways, it could also be scary and unpredictable, and it’s normal to feel a sense of loss over what is being left behind.
Sit with discomfort – When we are facing new situations with new people (whether it is a new camp or school, or somewhere we’ve already been), it can feel unknown and unpredictable. That’s because it is, but it’s ok, we don’t have to have it all figured out. Unknown doesn’t have to mean scary or not-doable. New isn’t better or worse, it’s just different.
Whether you have every day of every week of the summer scheduled, or whether you are daunted by a season with no idea what the days will bring, summer can be a time of rest, recharging, and reconnection. Remember, there is no right way to spend the summer. So, don’t compare yourself and your family to others. Just think about your own circumstances and what you need and can handle.
Here are some ideas for how to get the most out of Julaugust, for you and/or your teen:
Sleep – The research is overwhelmingly clear: the single most important contributor to our physical and mental health is sleep. Many teens (and adults) do not get enough sleep during the school year, so the summer is a great time to re-prioritize sleep and sleep habits.
Balance – While it is tempting to structure every minute, or to avoid facing the overwhelming and complex landscape of summer options, it could be useful to have both structured time and unstructured time over the summer break. Teens do need time to rest and recharge and they can benefit from free time to create their own plans and pursuits.
Try something new – While it’s great to use the summer to do what we enjoy, or to practice and hone skills in activities teens are involved with, it can also be empowering to try something new. Why not explore a new place, a new activity, or a new group of people?
Disconnect from tech – We definitely want to reset the nervous system and take some time off from screens and technology over the summer. I bet you are thinking that this will be impossible, your teen will never go for it. So, involve them in the discussion and include yourself in the practice. This is something we are going to do as a family, how can we go about making it work?
Nature and time outside – It’s important to have exposure to nature, fresh air and sunlight, and especially here in New England where the winters can feel long. So whenever possible, as REI says, “Opt Outside”
Empower your teen – Summer can be a time to help your teen build responsibility and purpose. If they have less to do outside the home, maybe they can take on more inside the home. Empower them to make their own choices, to take care of the family pet, to contribute to household tasks, and to improve their skills in the kitchen.
Contribute to others – Summer is a great time to find ways to give back to your community and to be of service to others. Look for opportunities to volunteer, organizations that need help, and neighbors who are alone or limited.
Connection – The most important predictor of positive mental health in teens is that they have one adult they feel connected and important to. So, what better time than now to practice letting your teen know that they matter to you, that you see them and love them, and that you are there for them. How do you do this? Spend time together. Do something fun. Laugh together. Be curious about them. Put your device down and be present with your teen. It really doesn’t matter what you do and how you connect, just that you do it.
The end of the school year isn't just about checking off the last items on the to-do list. It's also a transition - a time to pause, reflect, and prepare for what comes next.
Summer doesn't have to be packed with extraordinary experiences to be meaningful. Some of the moments our children remember most are the ordinary ones and the ones that have ritual: sleeping in, taking a walk, laughing over dinner, trying something new, or simply feeling connected to the people who matter most.
There is no "right" way to spend the summer. Every family has different needs, resources, and challenges. Rather than comparing your season to someone else's, ask yourself:
What would help our family feel more rested, more connected, and more ourselves by the end of the summer?
